Dating done right
I am just going to come out and say it: I am probably the absolute worst person to take on a date. If I could even get a girl to listen to me long enough to ask her out, I would praise the heavens for the greatest miracle since sliced bread. It is simply dangerous to date me, not because I am a wanted man, but because I would bore some poor girl to death. The second thing that is necessary when asking a girl on a date is to actually know her as a person. I recommend getting to know the person until you are friends, then just ask the question. If she is interested, great, if not, be polite and move on.
Dating Tips for Finding the Right Person
Marshall Segal talks to singles about the purpose of dating. Segal, who admits to having his share of dating regrets before finally meeting and marrying his wife, encourages singles to slow down and thoroughly get to know the person they are interested in. Singles should try and enfold the person into their community of family and friends, and plan activities they can do in a group setting.
Bob: Marshall Segal remembers thinking that the girl he was getting to know might be the one for him. Marshall: We sat down. It was the two of us having coffee, and I laid out my feelings for her.
I was feeling confident about it. Things were going well. We were talking on the phone once a week or so for 30 minutes. It was going super well. The date went great. I like you. Stay with us.
And welcome to FamilyLife Today. Thanks for joining us. So, you know what the path is today—from meet and fall in love to marriage. Marshall: Yes; I have questions about how they met in the first place. Marshall: I think so. We had a good time. I know this can be tricky. I think the most important step here, in terms, of determining whether God might be doing something here is for us to get to know each other a little bit.
I want to get to know you. I did this with Faye. Nothing is more awkward than trying to fold somebody in, long-distance; but we prioritized every single trip.
I talk about how intimacy is safest in the context of marriage; and marriage is going to be safest in the context of clarity. So, if you are wanting to pursue intimacy with this person, the best thing you can do is pursue clarity about whether God is calling you to marry this person. So, now, I can get married.
I want people to think about dating and the pursuit of marriage that way—more that there are intentional steps. Do you go into that kind of conversation? Marshall: I think you can have that conversation. What do you spend your time doing? Who are the most important people in your life?
Any dating I do is for the purpose of discovering who God might call me to marry. Ann: I do like this idea, because you are really becoming friends. What is the balance? Because I know me—I would be pulling her away. I want to know your passion for Christ.
I see all kinds of grace on you. He is barred from the house. Dave: He knew my before-Christ life. I want to talk about marriage. Marshall: Oh, absolutely. The problem with that situation is communication. You cannot be too self-controlled in dating. Marshall: Yes, over and over; yes—six months of pursuit, where I was very interested; and she was cool—I talk about it in the book. We got to a point, where we sat down; it was our first official date.
I laid out my feelings for her, and I was feeling confident about it. Things were going well—we were talking on the phone once a week or so for 30 minutes. It was going super well—the date went great.
Marshall: So, it was an awkward pause—long awkward pause. Marshall: That was essentially the end of that conversation; it was still friendly.
She was visiting a family member in Minnesota, so we ended up spending a little bit of time together the next day.
She largely acted normal. Like, I would still love to be friends. I really admire this woman. I mean, never more than that; and that was the purpose. We largely just talked about ways we could pray for each other. Each conversation started with checking in on things that we prayed for last time or that we asked for prayer for last time. We never prayed together on the phone, at that time.
I love it—I mean, I look back—and that moment was awkward—I was really surprised; but when I look back on it now, it preserved a period of six months for us to be friends. I need to get out of that relationship. Bob: —and just get your take on this. I was talking to a couple—married couple. How did you get engaged? Marshall: But I would say there would be certain guys that need a kick in the pants, probably, to be intentional, and clear, and keep the relationship moving forward.
That makes me real nervous—the six month thing—because it just applies—already, there is so much pressure in these situations. Applying an external pressure like that—that could manipulate somebody—I think it could go badly—. Does that feel like a healthy way to think about this?
Are we moving that way? Are we making progress? The pursuit of the right one is hard. We need the Word of God, and we all need community. We want to talk about parents and teens, who may be in the dating years and how you can, maybe, have these kinds of conversations with them. So, if you want to go to FamilyLifeToday. You can download that podcast, especially for parents of teens. Again, go to FamilyLifeToday. One of the things Marshall talked about today is the importance of mentors in our lives.
I started thinking of individuals and couples, who mentored and spoke into my life in high school and, especially, in college when I started dating more seriously. I just think of people who took the risk to really move closer to me.
Bob, you mentioned one of the things that I remember learning and, actually, watching in a small group with a mentor, who was leading us. It was six months later—in pursuing God with everything that I had, and fixing my eye on Jesus, and really surrendering every area of my life to Him—that I looked to the side. I pursued her totally differently than any other girl I have ever pursued, because of mentors and their input into my life at that moment in my life.
You know, you think about what Jesus said was the Greatest Commandment—that we would love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. Love your neighbor as yourself. You can donate easily. Go to FamilyLifeToday. And we hope you can be back with us, again, tomorrow. Meg is a wife and a mom who found her husband was looking at pornography; and ultimately, came to the point where she recognized that that revelation was used by God to save their marriage.
I hope you can join us for that. I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of FamilyLife Today. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow. We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.
However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. Fun, engaging conversations about what it takes to build stronger, healthier marriage and family relationships. Home Archives Resources Podcast Network. Articles on Choosing a Spouse. Resources for couples who are dating, engaged or newly married.
Meet Friendly Seniors and Start Mature Dating. Singles Are Waiting. Join Now! Join our LOVE EXPERIMENT & test whether our LOVE BANK works. Registration is open & free!
Are you single and looking for love? Are you finding it hard to meet the right person? Life as a single person offers many rewards, such as being free to pursue your own hobbies and interests, learning how to enjoy your own company, and appreciating the quiet moments of solitude.
Download Episode Here.
In Dating Done Right, Crystal shares her own personal journey of perpetual singleness, her heartache along the way, and the joy she found both in her singleness and after meeting her husband. Comprised of relatable stories and over reflection questions, individuals will learn to navigate singleness and dating with wisdom.
Dating Done Right
Real talk: Dating is sometimes harder than it should be. After countless dinners and drinks, it can be tempting to throw in the towel and resign to nights of forever watching Netflix alone in your bed. But when dating is done right, it can be amazing, and those great dates often lead to great relationships. So consider this your dating playbook, with all the information you need to survive the first date and make sure there's a second one. Sure, you might meet the love of your life while sipping gin and tonics, but wouldn't it be so much cooler to say you met at a mud run?
How to be better at online dating, according to psychology
Dating is a war zone. Unless you want to be a walking island, dating is something we must do. But how do you meet a man who genuinely wants to date and not just cum on your face at 11pm on a Tuesday? Grindr is for sex, Tinder is now… for sex, and Taimi? The only thing I worry about is are we losing our ability to connect as people and not just as pieces of meat? Being vulnerable is terrifying and it takes a big risk. A few years ago, I had the cutest encounter with a guy. We always seemed to have our breaks at the same time on Vulcan Lane. Every day we would stare at each other, then look away, then stare again.
Dating Done Right encourages singles to be content right where they are. This is accomplished by getting to know who they are first and discover what they want before ever entering into a new relationship.
Comprised of relatable stories and over reflection questions, individuals will learn to navigate singleness and dating with wisdom. That leaves far too many out of the equation. Dating Done Right helps those who need practical, biblical advice on dating with purpose--stripped of condescension, pat answers, and over-spiritualization. The health or dysfunction of dating always makes its way into marriage.
12 Dating Tips That Will Transform Your Love Life
Marshall Segal talks to singles about the purpose of dating. Segal, who admits to having his share of dating regrets before finally meeting and marrying his wife, encourages singles to slow down and thoroughly get to know the person they are interested in. Singles should try and enfold the person into their community of family and friends, and plan activities they can do in a group setting. Bob: Marshall Segal remembers thinking that the girl he was getting to know might be the one for him. Marshall: We sat down. It was the two of us having coffee, and I laid out my feelings for her. I was feeling confident about it. Things were going well. We were talking on the phone once a week or so for 30 minutes. It was going super well. The date went great.
Follow the Author
Reis studies social interactions and the factors that influence the quantity and closeness of our relationships. He coauthored a review article that analyzed how psychology can explain some of the online dating dynamics. You may have read a short profile or you may have had fairly extensive conversations via text or email. Her research currently focuses on online dating, including a study that found that age was the only reliable predictor of what made online daters more likely to actually meet up. Where online dating differs from methods that go farther back are the layers of anonymity involved. If you meet someone via a friend or family member, just having that third-party connection is a way of helping validate certain characteristics about someone physical appearance, values, personality traits, and so on. Do you make one another laugh? Study after psychological study support that those types of principles are important in relationships , and are predictors of relationship success, he notes.
