Nice people dating
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A nice guy is an informal term for an often young adult male who portrays himself with characteristics such as being gentle , compassionate , sensitive and vulnerable.
When used negatively, a nice guy implies a male who is unassertive, does not express his true feelings and, in the context of dating in which the term is often used [1] , uses acts of friendship and basic social etiquette with the unstated aim of progressing to a romantic or sexual relationship. The results of the research on romantic perception of "nice guys" are mixed and often inconsistent.
Studies that explicitly use the term "nice guy" sometimes cite research that does not directly use the term, but which addresses behaviours which are often associated with disingenuous "niceness". One difficulty in studying the "nice guy" phenomenon is due to the ambiguity of the "nice guy" construct. Participants in studies interpret "nice guy" to mean different things. In their qualitative analysis, Herold and Milhausen [6] found that women associate different qualities with the "nice guy" label: "Some women offered flattering interpretations of the 'nice guy', characterizing him as committed, caring, and respectful of women.
Some women, however, emphasized more negative aspects, considering the 'nice guy' to be boring, lacking confidence, and unattractive. Nice guys are sometimes suggested to be overbearing or lacking in a vision and ambitions, these opinions suggest self-confidence as key point and area of improvement.
Researchers have therefore operationalized the "nice guy" and "jerk" constructs in different ways, some of which are outlined below. Various studies explicitly try to elucidate the success, or lack thereof, of "nice guys" with women.
Jensen-Campbell et al. They found that female attraction was a result of an interaction of both dominance and prosocial tendency. They suggest that altruism may be attractive to women when it is perceived as a form of agentic behavior. Nice guys are usually seen as twice more attractive than men who prefer to present themselves as neutral, and eight times more attractive than the "jerks" in a dating profile.
Social dominance enhances female attraction to a male who has shown in the relationship niceness, traits of kindness and warmth stated by women looking for long-term relationships, and less status and physical attractiveness. Sprecher and Regan found kindness and warmth, expressiveness, openness and humor, as desirable traits of a long-term partner, less so social status indicators like future earning potential wealth. Participants suggested they wanted more humor, expressiveness and warmth from their partner than is expressed with their friends.
Herold and Milhausen asked a sample of undergraduate women "You meet two men. One, John, is nice but somewhat shy. He has not had any sexual experience.
The other, Mike, is attractive, a lot of fun, and has had intercourse with ten women. Both wish to date you. Whom do you choose? Urbaniak and Killman constructed vignettes of four hypothetical dating show contestants: "Nice Todd" vs. In two studies, Urbaniak and Kilmann found that women claimed to prefer "Nice Todd" over "Neutral Todd" and "Jerk Todd", relative to "Michael" even at differing levels of physical attractiveness. They also found that for purely sexual relationships, "niceness appeared relatively less influential than physical attractiveness.
McDaniel constructed vignettes of dates with a stereotypical "nice guy" vs. A study at New Mexico State University in Las Cruces showed, that "nice guys" report to have significantly fewer sexual partners than "bad boys". Barclay found, that when all other factors are held constant, guys who perform generous acts are rated as being more desirable for dates and long-term relationships than non-generous guys. This study used a series of matched descriptions where each male was presented in a generous or a control version which differed only whether the man tended to help others.
The author suggests that niceness itself is desirable to women, but tends to be used by men who are less attractive in other domains, and this is what creates the appearance of "nice guys finish last". Judge et al concluded, that "Nice guys do not necessarily finish last, but they do finish a distant second in terms of earnings These [ which? They interpret various studies on female attraction to various traits in men e.
Sadalla, Kenrick, and Vershure found, that women were sexually attracted to dominance in men though dominance did not make men likable to women , and that dominance in women had no effect on men.
Bogaert and Fisher studied the relationships between the personalities of university men and their number of sexual partners. They found a correlation between a man's number of sexual partners, and the traits of sensation-seeking , hypermasculinity , physical attractiveness, and testosterone levels. They also discovered a correlation between maximum monthly number of partners, and the traits of dominance and psychoticism.
Bogaert and Fisher suggest that an underlying construct labelled " disinhibition " could be used to explain most of these differences. They suggest that disinhibition would correlate negatively with "agreeableness" and " conscientiousness " from the Big Five personality model. Botwin, Buss and Shackelford found that women had a higher preference for surgency and dominance in their mates than men did, in a study of dating couples and newlyweds.
A number of viewpoints have arisen in popular culture that revolve around the concept of the "nice guy", irrespective of the preceding research.
A common aphorism is that " nice guys finish last. Simplistically, the term "nice guy" could be an adjectival phrase describing what appears to be a friendly, kind, or courteous man. The "nice guys finish last" phrase is also said to be coined by American biologist Garrett Hardin to sum up the selfish gene theory of life and evolution.
Dawkins was misinterpreted by many as confirming the "nice guy finishing last" view, but refuted the claims in the BBC documentary Nice Guys Finish First. The "nice guys finish last" view is that there is a discrepancy between women's stated preferences and their actual choices in men.
In other words, women say that they want nice guys, but really go for men who are "jerks" or " bad boys " in the end. Stephan Desrochers claims, in a article in the journal Sex Roles , that many "sensitive" men, based on personal experience, do not believe women actually want "nice guys". According to McDaniel, popular culture and dating advice: " Another perspective is that women do want "nice guys," at least when they are looking for a romantic relationship.
Desrochers suggests that "it still seems popular to believe that women in contemporary America prefer men who are 'sensitive,' or have feminine personality traits. It is a possibility that women leave to escape their circumstances of abuse, disease or pregnancy to seek a chance with the nice guy they rejected previously , afterwards. Herold and Milhausen claim: "While 'nice guys' may not be competitive in terms of numbers of sexual partners, they tend to be more successful with respect to longer-term, committed relationships.
Another study indicates that "for brief affairs, women tend to prefer a dominating, powerful and promiscuous man. The terms "Nice Guy" and "nice guy syndrome" can be used to describe a man who views himself as a prototypical "nice guy," but whose "nice deeds" are deemed to be solely motivated by a desire to court women.
From said courting, the 'nice guy' may hope to form a romantic relationship or may be motivated by a simple desire to increase his sexual activity. The 'nice guy' is commonly said to be put by women "into the friend zone " who do not reciprocate his romantic or sexual interest. Third wave feminist interpretations tend to see this resentment as being based upon an assumption by men that they are entitled to sex and are therefore confused when they find that it is not forthcoming despite their supposed 'niceness'.
According to this interpretation people who display wealth, good looks, dominance and confidence tend to succeed more in romance than do 'nice guys'.
Nice guys are therefore resentful at the inconsistency between what people claim to be attracted to and by how they act in reality. The central theme was that a genuinely nice male is desirable, but that many Nice Guys are insecure men unwilling to articulate their romantic or sexual feelings directly. Instead, they choose to present themselves as their paramour's friend, and hang around, doing nice things for her in hopes that she will pick up on their desire for her.
If she fails to read their secret feelings, Nice Guys become embittered and blame her for taking advantage of them and their niceness. The site is particularly critical of what they see as hypocrisy and manipulation on the part of self-professed Nice Guys. According to journalist Paris Martineau, the extremely misogynistic incel and red pill movements part of the anti-feminist manosphere recruit depressed, frustrated men — who may suffer from "Nice Guy syndrome" — into the alt-right [32].
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. Term in popular psychology. For the Eminem song, see Kamikaze Eminem album. Sex Roles. Nice Guy". Archived from the original on 17 January Retrieved 28 March Berkeley Beacon. Archived from the original on 20 March Retrieved 9 December The Maneater. Retrieved 1 November Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
Retrieved 30 April Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. ABC News. New Scientist. British Journal of Psychology. Journal of Sex Research. Journal of Personality. Shapiro, Yale University Press, , p. Retrieved 11 March New York: Oxford University Press. All nice guys. Nice guys — finish last. The San Francisco Chronicle. Archived from the original on 26 November The cyberspace handbook.
Retrieved 21 November This section is empty. You can help by adding to it. January
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A nice guy is an informal term for an often young adult male who portrays himself with characteristics such as being gentle , compassionate , sensitive and vulnerable. When used negatively, a nice guy implies a male who is unassertive, does not express his true feelings and, in the context of dating in which the term is often used [1] , uses acts of friendship and basic social etiquette with the unstated aim of progressing to a romantic or sexual relationship. The results of the research on romantic perception of "nice guys" are mixed and often inconsistent. Studies that explicitly use the term "nice guy" sometimes cite research that does not directly use the term, but which addresses behaviours which are often associated with disingenuous "niceness". One difficulty in studying the "nice guy" phenomenon is due to the ambiguity of the "nice guy" construct. Participants in studies interpret "nice guy" to mean different things.
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