How to have love

Maybe you have lost sight of what made you fall in love, or you have reached a cosy stage of companionship that lacks fire. But is it unrealistic to expect to be in love with the same person for decades? But your lives were different then. Look anew at your partner.

12 basic rules to find love

Often when people want a new relationship, they either look for someone to complete them or they imagine sharing their life with someone just like them. So they try to present themselves in the best possible light for their imagined future partner—either as one perfect half of a whole or as an ideal version of what they believe their future partner will want.

In my experience, finding your soul mate requires a different, far more soul-enriching approach. Here are six steps that worked for me:. I decided to turn my attention inward—to get to know and accept myself , to heal past wounds, and to explore and develop new parts of myself. Previously, I needed to be with someone in order to feel content, to have someone love me in order to feel loved.

Breaking up with past boyfriends was so painful because it felt as if I was breaking up, as if I was being torn from a part of myself. What I discovered was that I had to learn to be whole. And when I started to work on that, my life changed. When I started to discover more about myself and to follow my own path , I started to live a life that was meaningful to me.

This can disappoint some people close to you, such as your family. But if you want to find fulfillment in your life, you have to fulfill yourself, not someone else!

And doing what is right for you means you will be in places, jobs, and near people that are aligned with your life path, and with you. So you will have a much better chance of meeting your soul mate, because your soul mate will also be connected to your life path. A side effect of leading the life you choose is that you automatically become more attractive. You become more real, authentic, substantial, valuable, passionate, happy, and present. This makes you more beautiful in a natural and effortless way, and it will also make you attractive to your soul mate.

Whereas when you try to make yourself attractive in order to find someone, you alter the way you behave and present yourself so that if your soul mate were to show up, he or she might not even recognize you. So just be yourself , whether that means you dress in corporate attire or resort wear, or casual clothing or more formal, or if your preference changes at different times.

Go to the gym only if you love it, do yoga if you love it, walk or surf or cycle if you enjoy those activities. A partner who you will be with over the long term will not make a decision about your worth based on a superficial aspect of your appearance. So tap into what feels right for you, do the activities you enjoy, wear the clothes that suit you and in which you feel comfortable. You will be far more attractive to your soul mate if you look like yourself when you meet them.

Most of us express only a small part of who we are. We limit ourselves to the personality—or self—we have become in response to our childhood environment. This is an unavoidable stage in our developmental process because we have to form a self—or ego—that enables us to survive and hopefully thrive in our family and social setting. It is like we are unconsciously trying to complete ourselves through our relationships. These relationships usually involve intense attraction at first and are characterized by feelings of completeness.

But inevitably, they become stifled by strong relationship patterns that form where people get stuck relating to one another from one main part of themselves that bonds with its opposite in the other person.

But then when stresses and vulnerabilities arise in the relationship, these bonding patterns turn negative, and the partners turn on each other. I am so grateful to have learned about bonding patterns because the awareness of them not only helps enormously in my relationship, but they also act as a guide for which parts of myself I have lost connection to.

Because bonding patterns are the natural way that we give and receive love, they are unavoidable. But bonding patterns can be navigated successfully. When you become aware that you are attracted to other people because of what you have disowned in yourself, and then work on owning those qualities in yourself, your relationships transform. If you are in a relationship already and you begin this process, then as you and your partner reclaim your disowned selves, you start to become more fully yourselves with each other and your relationship will become richer.

And this was one of those. When I got to that party, there he was: my future husband, with whom I have had three children and twenty-five years of a wonderful life together. And it was a surprise to meet him there. If I had been intentionally looking for a partner, I probably would not have even spoken to my husband that night. When you look at each person you encounter as if you are screening them for a job with a life-long contract, it changes the organic flow of events and natural connection that forms with the people you encounter.

The simplest way to stop assessing others as potential life partners is to just stop looking for a partner and connect with the people you meet with genuine interest.

When you meet someone you have a good connection with, allow that connection to develop and grow. If the person is a soul mate, he or she will also be into you, so if you both pay genuine attention to each other then something will develop. There is no need to play games or to try particular seduction techniques or to achieve milestones by a particular time.

A successful long-term relationship is not a game. Do you really want to be in a relationship with someone you had to manipulate into it? Do you want your partner to be enchanted by an image you have created so that you have to hide yourself in some way? Or do you want your partner to love you wholeheartedly?

What kind of relationship do you want to bring children into if you end up having them? Each relationship is unique, just as each person is unique, so how your relationship unfolds will be unique too.

You have to engage with the process of it and with each other, and then make decisions as you go. There is no one line you can say, no one action you can take, that will lead to a particular result. All you can do is live your life more fully, learn to accept and love yourself more fully , and you will love and be loved more fully. Astra Niedra writes about relationships and personal growth at her blog Voice Dialogue and You!. Connect on Facebook and Twitter. This site is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice.

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Click here to read more. Think Web Strategy. Here are six steps that worked for me: 1. Stop looking for your soul mate and find the missing parts of you. Live your life as you want to live it. Stop trying to appeal to an imagined, potential partner. If you are attracted to particular qualities in someone else, find or develop those qualities in yourself. So we all have hidden or disowned parts of ourselves that at some point we need to unearth.

I If you are in a relationship already and you begin this process, then as you and your partner reclaim your disowned selves, you start to become more fully yourselves with each other and your relationship will become richer. Engage with life; accept the gifts that are offered to you. Was I looking for someone when I went to that party? Web More Posts. See a typo or inaccuracy? Please contact us so we can fix it! Did you enjoy this post? Please share the wisdom :. Free Download: Buddha Desktop Wallpaper.

Taking A Break Obsession, idealization, or what is the reason behind all of this? How to get rid of corruption in a MNC Intense anger at people maybe high expectations I am so heartbroken and I dont know what to do! Disclaimer This site is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice. Who Runs Tiny Buddha? Design by Joshua Denney. Back to Top.

Go where people like the same things you like. Look up from your phone.

All romantic relationships go through ups and downs and they all take work, commitment, and a willingness to adapt and change with your partner. Every relationship is unique, and people come together for many different reasons. Part of what defines a healthy relationship is sharing a common goal for exactly what you want the relationship to be and where you want it to go.

Often when people want a new relationship, they either look for someone to complete them or they imagine sharing their life with someone just like them. So they try to present themselves in the best possible light for their imagined future partner—either as one perfect half of a whole or as an ideal version of what they believe their future partner will want.

Have you gone through a breakup recently? Are you unsure of your seduction skills, or just had too much work on your shoulders to concentrate on your love life?

12 steps to make someone fall in love

Just because the whole world seems to obsess about romance during one day in the middle of February, doesn't mean you have to. For happy singles, it's a good excuse to eat chocolate. But if Valentine's Day has you thinking about finding love, the holiday could be a good motivation to start. Join social groups or meet-ups; be a worker bee in a cause you believe in; get involved in political parties. Bite the bullet and try online dating for a big pool of potential candidates, Schwartz added.

Tips for Building a Healthy Relationship

A sad, universal truth: Every relationship will hit a point when the fiery excitement of "the beginning" fades and things feel a little Your brain and body simply can't sustain the adrenaline-fueled butterfly feeling for years and years and it's a lot less sad when you accept that. But losing the luster doesn't mean you're destined for misery—you can CAN fall back in love again. Think about it: When two people first get together, they put a lot of effort and energy into making their partner happy and their twosome flourish. But as time passes and you get more comfortable with each other, it's easy to become passive. That means, then, that falling in love—or back in it—is an intentional act. And while no one half of a duo can make things perfect, you can definitely do your part to refresh your relationship when things go meh. Since you're the one reading this article, you may be looking for ways to feel closer to your S. But, stay with me: Since "love" is a verb, "when you lead with action, your heart tends to follow," says Seth J. Gillihan , PhD, a psychologist in Philadelphia.

Healthy relationships bring out the best in you and make you feel good about yourself.

One Love recently launched LoveBetter , a new campaign aimed at helping us learn more about healthy relationship behaviors and committing to being in healthier relationships with the people we love. So, how can you do your part to LoveBetter? As the old cliche goes, actions speak louder than words. With this in mind, here are 19 ways to show your S.

Relight the fire: how to fall back in love with your partner

There are numerous types of love, including both self-love and romantic love. You can work towards loving and showing your love in many different ways. If you want to love your partner, embrace intimacy by daring to be vulnerable around them, even if it's scary. Learn to both give and receive love, and say "thank you" to show them you appreciate their efforts. If you want to love yourself, practice using positive self-talk and spend time doing things you love, like drawing or kayaking. For advice from our reviewer on how to love others despite your differences, such as opposing points of view, read on! Did this summary help you? Yes No. Log in Facebook. No account yet?

19 Ways To Show Your S.O. You Love Them Without Saying a Word

Locking eyes with a someone doesn't just tell them you're interested, it can even make them feel like they're falling in love with you, apparently. Because it's the behaviour of loved-up couples. By encouraging someone to gaze into your eyes by maintaining eye contact with them, you can lead their brain towards the idea of love. There's no need to start shaving your chin or scratching between your legs, but focusing on the ways in which you're alike can help create a mutual attraction. Researchers at the University of Liverpool found that we're more likely to go for people who look similar to us because we perceive certain facial attributes as clues to personality. Laughter lines, frown lines, wide smiles, restrained expressions are all indications of what a person is like — sociable, friendly, shy, emotional — so we seek out people who look as though they'd be compatible with us. The reason for this one is pretty obvious: they'll know, you'll know and it doesn't bode well for the future.