Looking for a relationship partner
Common attributes that come to mind include intelligence, kindness, sense of humor, attractiveness, or reliability. We may think we are looking for a partner who complements us only in positive ways, but on an unconscious level, we are frequently drawn to people who complement us in negative ways as well. What this means is that we tend to pick partners who fit in with our existing emotional baggage. We are inclined to replay events and dynamics that hurt us in the past in our adult relationships. Were they too controlling?
How To Figure Out What You Want In A Partner — And Feel Confident Asking For It
Often when people want a new relationship, they either look for someone to complete them or they imagine sharing their life with someone just like them. So they try to present themselves in the best possible light for their imagined future partner—either as one perfect half of a whole or as an ideal version of what they believe their future partner will want.
In my experience, finding your soul mate requires a different, far more soul-enriching approach. Here are six steps that worked for me:. I decided to turn my attention inward—to get to know and accept myself , to heal past wounds, and to explore and develop new parts of myself.
Previously, I needed to be with someone in order to feel content, to have someone love me in order to feel loved. Breaking up with past boyfriends was so painful because it felt as if I was breaking up, as if I was being torn from a part of myself. What I discovered was that I had to learn to be whole. And when I started to work on that, my life changed. When I started to discover more about myself and to follow my own path , I started to live a life that was meaningful to me.
This can disappoint some people close to you, such as your family. But if you want to find fulfillment in your life, you have to fulfill yourself, not someone else! And doing what is right for you means you will be in places, jobs, and near people that are aligned with your life path, and with you. So you will have a much better chance of meeting your soul mate, because your soul mate will also be connected to your life path. A side effect of leading the life you choose is that you automatically become more attractive.
You become more real, authentic, substantial, valuable, passionate, happy, and present. This makes you more beautiful in a natural and effortless way, and it will also make you attractive to your soul mate. Whereas when you try to make yourself attractive in order to find someone, you alter the way you behave and present yourself so that if your soul mate were to show up, he or she might not even recognize you.
So just be yourself , whether that means you dress in corporate attire or resort wear, or casual clothing or more formal, or if your preference changes at different times. Go to the gym only if you love it, do yoga if you love it, walk or surf or cycle if you enjoy those activities. A partner who you will be with over the long term will not make a decision about your worth based on a superficial aspect of your appearance. So tap into what feels right for you, do the activities you enjoy, wear the clothes that suit you and in which you feel comfortable.
You will be far more attractive to your soul mate if you look like yourself when you meet them. Most of us express only a small part of who we are. We limit ourselves to the personality—or self—we have become in response to our childhood environment. This is an unavoidable stage in our developmental process because we have to form a self—or ego—that enables us to survive and hopefully thrive in our family and social setting.
It is like we are unconsciously trying to complete ourselves through our relationships. These relationships usually involve intense attraction at first and are characterized by feelings of completeness. But inevitably, they become stifled by strong relationship patterns that form where people get stuck relating to one another from one main part of themselves that bonds with its opposite in the other person. But then when stresses and vulnerabilities arise in the relationship, these bonding patterns turn negative, and the partners turn on each other.
I am so grateful to have learned about bonding patterns because the awareness of them not only helps enormously in my relationship, but they also act as a guide for which parts of myself I have lost connection to. Because bonding patterns are the natural way that we give and receive love, they are unavoidable. But bonding patterns can be navigated successfully. When you become aware that you are attracted to other people because of what you have disowned in yourself, and then work on owning those qualities in yourself, your relationships transform.
If you are in a relationship already and you begin this process, then as you and your partner reclaim your disowned selves, you start to become more fully yourselves with each other and your relationship will become richer. And this was one of those. When I got to that party, there he was: my future husband, with whom I have had three children and twenty-five years of a wonderful life together. And it was a surprise to meet him there. If I had been intentionally looking for a partner, I probably would not have even spoken to my husband that night.
When you look at each person you encounter as if you are screening them for a job with a life-long contract, it changes the organic flow of events and natural connection that forms with the people you encounter. The simplest way to stop assessing others as potential life partners is to just stop looking for a partner and connect with the people you meet with genuine interest.
When you meet someone you have a good connection with, allow that connection to develop and grow. If the person is a soul mate, he or she will also be into you, so if you both pay genuine attention to each other then something will develop.
There is no need to play games or to try particular seduction techniques or to achieve milestones by a particular time. A successful long-term relationship is not a game. Do you really want to be in a relationship with someone you had to manipulate into it?
Do you want your partner to be enchanted by an image you have created so that you have to hide yourself in some way? Or do you want your partner to love you wholeheartedly? What kind of relationship do you want to bring children into if you end up having them?
Each relationship is unique, just as each person is unique, so how your relationship unfolds will be unique too. You have to engage with the process of it and with each other, and then make decisions as you go. There is no one line you can say, no one action you can take, that will lead to a particular result.
All you can do is live your life more fully, learn to accept and love yourself more fully , and you will love and be loved more fully. Astra Niedra writes about relationships and personal growth at her blog Voice Dialogue and You!. Connect on Facebook and Twitter. This site is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice. The content on Tiny Buddha is designed to support, not replace, medical or psychiatric treatment. Please seek professional care if you believe you may have a condition.
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Here are six steps that worked for me: 1. Stop looking for your soul mate and find the missing parts of you. Live your life as you want to live it.
Stop trying to appeal to an imagined, potential partner. If you are attracted to particular qualities in someone else, find or develop those qualities in yourself. So we all have hidden or disowned parts of ourselves that at some point we need to unearth.
I If you are in a relationship already and you begin this process, then as you and your partner reclaim your disowned selves, you start to become more fully yourselves with each other and your relationship will become richer. Engage with life; accept the gifts that are offered to you. Was I looking for someone when I went to that party?
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The question “what are you looking for in a relationship partner?” may seem like an easy one to answer, but the real answer is not always so simple. The laws of. A successful and fulfilling relationship is dependent on the compatibility between two cater for people who are seriously looking for a long-term partner. more.
Dating can be completely frustrating to begin with, but it's even harder when you don't know what you're looking for. Worse is when you have the slightest idea of what you want, but you feel too guilty asking for it. In a recent Bustle survey, almost 20 percent of participants who said they're single and dating said their biggest dating goal is to figure out exactly what it is they're looking for in a partner — but that's often easier said than done. And, if you're naturally not assertive, it's difficult to suddenly start demanding your needs overnight. Irwin tells Bustle.
Do you think of an intense romance complete with dramatic gestures, like this one?
Nice eyes? A great smile? A quirky sense of humor?
Looking for Great Single Men? We've Got You Covered
Often when people want a new relationship, they either look for someone to complete them or they imagine sharing their life with someone just like them. So they try to present themselves in the best possible light for their imagined future partner—either as one perfect half of a whole or as an ideal version of what they believe their future partner will want. In my experience, finding your soul mate requires a different, far more soul-enriching approach. Here are six steps that worked for me:. I decided to turn my attention inward—to get to know and accept myself , to heal past wounds, and to explore and develop new parts of myself.
Dating Tips for Finding the Right Person
Anyone who's been doing the online dating thing for a while knows that there's hookup culture and then there's long-term relationship dating culture. Most online dating sites have a mix of both, and after living with online dating as an increasingly ubiquitous option for the past 20 years, the general public mostly sees dating sites as a super normal means to find casual dates or a hookup. But what if you're looking for a serious relationship or even something long-term? What if you just don't want to be alone on Valentine's Day ever again? What if you're over casual dating and just want someone consistent to come home to? What if you have no idea where to start? Keep reading. The long-term potential of online dating is still met with a cloud of doubt.
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Jump to navigation. It can be challenging to be a woman today — keeping up with work, social and family demands while still searching for your type of guy can be hard to fit into your free time! From New York to Napa the story is the same, whether you're looking for wonderful single women or great single men. Therefore, it might be surprising to learn that more than half of Americans are currently single.
13 Things to Look for In a Healthy Relationship
AskMen may get paid if you click a link in this article and buy a product or service. Dating apps were created to make finding your next relationship easier. We asked a few dating experts for their best tips and advice on which dating apps will help you find a match who's also looking for commitment. Are you done with the awkward hookups and unsatisfying one-night stands? Do you yearn to spend time with someone you care about, and are excited to see on a regular basis? Are you looking to be attracted to someone's mind and spirit, rather than just their body? These are signs that you're ready for a serious relationship, and in the age of hookup culture, that can confusing. How do you separate the potential relationship partners from all the casual daters? How do you put yourself out there without getting hurt? Nowadays, one of the easiest ways to find a relationship involves using the right dating apps for your needs, and screening out those people who aren't looking for a relationship.
Best Dating Apps for Relationships
Are you single and looking for love? Are you finding it hard to meet the right person? Life as a single person offers many rewards, such as being free to pursue your own hobbies and interests, learning how to enjoy your own company, and appreciating the quiet moments of solitude. For many of us, our emotional baggage can make finding the right romantic partner a difficult journey. Perhaps you grew up in a household where there was no role model of a solid, healthy relationship and you doubt that such a thing even exists. You could be attracted to the wrong type of person or keep making the same bad choices over and over, due to an unresolved issue from your past. Whatever the case may be, you can overcome your obstacles. The first step to finding love is to reassess some of the misconceptions about dating and relationships that may be preventing you from finding lasting love. Fact: While there are health benefits that come with being in a solid relationship, many people can be just as happy and fulfilled without being part of a couple. And nothing is as unhealthy and dispiriting as being in a bad relationship.
