Looking for relationships
The single relationship that is truly central and crucial in a life is the relationship to the self. There are several topics in life which attract a lot of desperation. Love is one of them. Specifically, singlehood when it comes to love.
What Should I Look for in a Partner?
The single relationship that is truly central and crucial in a life is the relationship to the self. There are several topics in life which attract a lot of desperation. Love is one of them. Specifically, singlehood when it comes to love. Somehow, the mainstream society seems to be hovering at the belief that we are only complete when we have found our life partner — our soulmate.
Romantic comedies is my favorite genre of movies and I absolutely relish in the romance aspect of shows I watch. I believe in the concept of soulmates and there being a special someone out there for all of us. I feel extremely happy for people around me who are happily attached. But the society seems to have portrayed singlehood as some sort of a disease, rather than a perfectly fine state in itself.
Because of this, singlehood has become a topic associated with desperation. The problem is, because these actions are driven or partially driven by acts of desperation, their objective of having a relationship becomes to complete themselves and achieve their idealized state of happiness.
They start getting into relationships for the sake of getting into one, rather than because of real, unconditional love. This desperation leads them to two possible outcomes. The first, they attract and enter into suboptimal relationships. They get together with people who are either not right for them, do not elevate them to become better people or do not treat them with the level of respect they deserve, leading to constant unhappiness and eventual heartache.
The second outcome is depression or disappointment when they cannot find the person of their dreams or when they break up with their previous partner. There have been guys who have entered my life before but I have never been in a serious relationship before. I also have numerous friends my age who have been single their whole lives.
They are really traditional people. In the past few years however, I started opening myself up more and more to looking out for Mr. It was an action that was driven by many varying factors around me. During Chinese New Year, relatives would curiously probe if I have a boyfriend. Friends around me started getting attached, one by one. I started hearing of friends getting wedding invitations from their peers.
As I opened myself up to the prospect to finding my special someone, I got to know more guys. Over the years, there have been various different guys who expressed interest. However, I just never seemed to find the right match amongst them. It would get depressing at sometimes. I had different hypotheses, from there being something wrong with the guys around me, me not looking hard enough and not looking in the right places, me being too successful and as a result, intimidating to guys.
I wondered if there was something wrong with me. I wondered if I was ever going to meet my special someone and if I was going to be single for the rest of my life. I wondered my soulmate accidentally died at some point and I was never going to meet him since he was dead. I wondered if I even had a soulmate to begin with. There was a certain tinge of desperation I viewed for my future, regarding relationships.
It was frustrating. I sat down to really think through this issue. Why would something that is supposed to bring me bliss result in so much unhappiness in myself? It was from my introspection and probing that it finally hit home — I was looking at all of this the wrong way.
All the frustration, anticipation and expectations on getting a relationship arose because I was looking for a relationship to complete myself. For example, I was deferring various aspects of my life to begin only till I find my soulmate. I would think of about how I would go to this place as a romantic getaway when I get together with my special someone. I would think about buying couple gifts with my soulmate.
I would see certain items and think about how nice it would be when I get them as gifts from my partner the next time. It resulted in hidden tension and anxiety toward finding my life partner. The truth is, I am already complete by myself. There is no need for my life partner to enter into my life before all those things can happen. I can already be doing them as and when I want to. I was looking at a relationship as two halves forming a whole, when it should be about two wholes forming a bigger union.
When I released myself of my limiting perception, that was when my views toward relationships totally changed. I stopped hinging expectations toward when I should get into a relationship and how it should be like. I stopped looking at relationships with a feeling of desperation. I became grounded in myself. I became truly and perfectly happy in the state of singlehood. No, I do want to be in a relationship. The difference is that desire stopped being rooted in fear-based emotions.
It became rooted in groundedness and love-based emotions. Are you complete by yourself? There is a huge difference on your perceptions and attitudes toward relationships between when you think of yourself as an incomplete person and when you think of yourself as already complete.
This can be an elusive quality. It emanates from your thoughts, emotions, actions and behaviors. As I mentioned in my personal story above, being complete does not mean there is no reason to be in a relationship anymore. It means looking at relationships from a totally different viewpoint. It means you start truly living life and stop becoming bothered by whether you are single or attached.
Below are eight attributes that differentiate both viewpoints of seeing yourself as incomplete vs. There are several thoughts people unknowingly adopt which result in an incomplete perception of themselves. Below are three guiding checkpoints in becoming a fully, complete person:. Look at yourself in the mirror. Look at where you stand in your life currently.
Look at everything about yourself and examine them thoroughly. Are there aspects of yourself which you dislike? Is there anything that you wish is different about yourself? If there are, what are they? Write these down. Next, examine yourself again in the same areas and look for the aspects which you like.
What do you like about yourself? Skill sets? What were some of your greatest accomplishments that you are proud of? When were the times when you felt really proud of something you have done? Write them down. Now, look at your dislikes and your likes. Realize that your dislikes are part of what contributed you to becoming the person you are today. Love who you are right now, unconditionally.
While you can work on addressing those dislikes and improving yourself, you need to start off from a point where you already unequivocally love who you are right now. Improving yourself will just make you love yourself even more. Are you happy being by yourself?
Do you love spending time with yourself? If you are to find out that you are going to be by yourself for the rest of your life , will you be completely happy? This is a second level check to the first point. If you already love yourself unconditionally, you will be completely happy by yourself.
Complete happiness is already possible and attainable right now, at this moment, by yourself. It is not conditional upon being in a relationship. In fact, many people are in relationships but are not happy, because these are suboptimal relationships that are rooted in fear-based emotions. Are you living life to your fullest now, or are you deferring certain aspects of living till when you get into a relationship?
Are you waiting for your special someone to come along before you can do X, Y, Z things? When you do that, you put off living till an arbitrary point in the future. There is no need to wait to get into a relationship before you can be completely happy.
Think about what can you do today that will make you completely happy. What can you do with friends, family and people around you as you live life to the fullest? Do you want to go to a certain country?
But what if you're looking for a serious relationship or even something What makes a dating site better for relationships than others? "Look at the photos carefully," she suggests. "Are these all half-naked photos? Maybe the person is looking for a hot hookup. Are they half.
Often when people want a new relationship, they either look for someone to complete them or they imagine sharing their life with someone just like them. So they try to present themselves in the best possible light for their imagined future partner—either as one perfect half of a whole or as an ideal version of what they believe their future partner will want. In my experience, finding your soul mate requires a different, far more soul-enriching approach. Here are six steps that worked for me:. I decided to turn my attention inward—to get to know and accept myself , to heal past wounds, and to explore and develop new parts of myself.
In an attempt to keep things interesting under lockdown, dating apps are stepping up. Many apps are encouraging virtual dating as there's no chance of physical contact in the near future.
Anyone who's been doing the online dating thing for a while knows that there's hookup culture and then there's long-term relationship dating culture. Most online dating sites have a mix of both, and after living with online dating as an increasingly ubiquitous option for the past 20 years, the general public mostly sees dating sites as a super normal means to find casual dates or a hookup.
Are You Looking For A Relationship To Complete Yourself?
Are you single and looking for love? Are you finding it hard to meet the right person? Life as a single person offers many rewards, such as being free to pursue your own hobbies and interests, learning how to enjoy your own company, and appreciating the quiet moments of solitude. For many of us, our emotional baggage can make finding the right romantic partner a difficult journey. Perhaps you grew up in a household where there was no role model of a solid, healthy relationship and you doubt that such a thing even exists. You could be attracted to the wrong type of person or keep making the same bad choices over and over, due to an unresolved issue from your past.
Best Dating Apps for Relationships
One of the most interesting ways to spark a conversation with a couple is to ask how they met. Maybe they were introduced at work, or perhaps they were set up by friends. But more and more often, the answer is online. There are a ton of apps out there, and filtering out the best dating apps for relationships can be tough. To help you navigate digital territory and figure out which are the best dating apps for relationships, we consulted a dating pro. Unfortunately, apps like Tinder created the swiping phenomenon and the false hope you can meet a great match instantly through the so-called hook-up culture. Meet the Expert. Your photos should be recent within the last six months and of you only—no group shots. When writing about yourself, be positive, welcoming, and creative. Lastly, Ray emphasizes that overexposed selfies are a no-no.
In a fast-paced, technologically driven world, many singles are turning to the internet in hopes of finding love. But while meeting new people is easier than ever before, the dating game has become even more complicated under the guise of convenience.
Nice eyes? A great smile? A quirky sense of humor? Look for someone who:.
Online Dating & Relationships
One in ten Americans have used an online dating site or mobile dating app themselves, and many people now know someone else who uses online dating or who has found a spouse or long-term partner via online dating. General public attitudes towards online dating have become much more positive in recent years, and social networking sites are now playing a prominent role when it comes to navigating and documenting romantic relationships. One in every ten American adults has used an online dating site or a mobile dating app. Online dating is also relatively popular among the college-educated, as well as among urban and suburban residents. Compared with eight years ago, online daters in are more likely to actually go out on dates with the people they meet on these sites. Even today, online dating is not universally seen as a positive activity—a significant minority of the public views online dating skeptically. At the same time, public attitudes towards online dating have grown more positive in the last eight years:. In general, online daters themselves give the experience high marks. Yet even some online daters view the process itself and the individuals they encounter on these sites somewhat negatively. Familiarity with online dating through usage by friends or family members has increased dramatically since our last survey of online dating in People in nearly every major demographic group—old and young, men and women, urbanites and rural dwellers—are more likely to know someone who uses online dating or met a long term partner through online dating than was the case eight years ago.
For finding a serious relationship, these dating sites are the best
AskMen may get paid if you click a link in this article and buy a product or service. Dating apps were created to make finding your next relationship easier. We asked a few dating experts for their best tips and advice on which dating apps will help you find a match who's also looking for commitment. Are you done with the awkward hookups and unsatisfying one-night stands? Do you yearn to spend time with someone you care about, and are excited to see on a regular basis? Are you looking to be attracted to someone's mind and spirit, rather than just their body? These are signs that you're ready for a serious relationship, and in the age of hookup culture, that can confusing.
